A relationship usually starts out with enough sparks to start an inferno, but after a while, the flames settle down until you one day realize that there's not much left -- just a few dying embers smoldering slowly. This is how it is for most couples, but it doesn't have to be that way. Here are 5 tips to stop the spark from going out in your relationship.
1. Dress up for your partner. When first dating, you put a lot of care into your appearance. You make sure that you look 'just right'. You shower, you launder, you fix and the overall outward package is one that shows how much you want to impress your date. As the relationship progresses, the immaculate outward package deteriorates -- they've seen you first thing in the morning when you look your worst, what's the point of dressing up? Well the point is that it shows you care what they think of you. It shows them that you want to look nice for them. It also works for both parts of the relationship -- you should both want to look good for each other. You can dress up to go out, or dress up to stay home, you can even dress up for the bedroom but be warned, that's probably going to put more than a spark into your relationship!
2. Keep a daily snuggle time on your schedule. Life is busy, things get in the way of getting together with your partner, stuff to do, deadlines to meet and you fall exhausted into bed each night with a passing thought of whether or not you hugged your partner that day. Commit to at least a 15 minute snuggle period each day -- the time of day is up to you, but make sure that you keep this time sacred and nothing gets in the way of it. You may occasionally have to move the time forwards or back in the day, but don't allow anything to stop it entirely. This shows your that they are an important part of their life.
3. Do something different together on a regular basis. Get out, try new things. Go to a restaurant, see a different kind of movie to what you usually watch, take a short class, take up a new sport, visit a place you've never been before. The newness and sense of adventure that you share will help bring back some of the initial closeness you had when your relationship was new.
4. Put the laughter back into your relationship. Once the initial period is over and life settles down, a relationship lives on the day-to-day lives of both parties. The stresses and strains take over and one will worry about the other, and vice versa. Instead of concentrating on the stress making issues, find something that you can laugh about. There's something funny about most situations, you've just got to find it. See which of you can see the funny side first!
5. Initiate surprises. Don't allow the relationship to fall into a dependable pattern. Plan a picnic without telling your partner (just make sure it doesn't conflict with anything else first!), wear something sexy, put love notes in his pocket, send a sizzling email full of promises you've every intention of fulfilling, etc. Surprises don't have to cost anything, sometimes the best ones don't cost anything more than a little thought and a lot of imagination!
Relationships need to settle a little to allow them to grow, but that doesn't mean they have to go from sizzling to stale -- let them cool, but then use the tips above to keep the relationship bubbling.
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